Interpersonal Connections

Here is an email I sent to a very intelligent, eccentric and vulnerable client going through a difficult patch. I think it is something we all need or needed to hear at some point in our lives:

I hear you very strongly my dear friend. In a way your non resonation with the normal world is a sign of you being one of the new kind of people being born today to take our planet into new arenas. I often feel the same kind of non connectedness with conventional people, only I can bullshit by pretending to be one of them so they’ll feel comfortable with me. The difference between us is that I’m a better bullshitter than you.

But just be aware that those people who your gifts touch in some way – they see you, they appreciate you. And you must let this appreciation in. The art is not to take on – which you do do, and must learn not to do – the projections of those who cannot understand you and so project on you that there is something wrong with you.

As you are very sensitive, you have internalised their negative projections so that how you see you is often through those projections. You have to stop doing this and learn to trust yourself and at the same time also be less critical of those who you feel don’t/can’t/won’t see you, as they will also take on your projections and that won’t do them any good either.

We are all unique and different and we have to do our best to be ourselves and if others don’t see/like/get us, well that’s the way the old cookie crumbles and it is not necessarily because there is anything wrong with us, or for that matter, with them.

I think your difficulty is that you are different, and not everyone can see your big heart and big soulfulness, and differences for a lot of people – especially those who are more closed up – can be scary. Yes, in the world where people dance and feel joy and celebrate life, you are seen and accepted. In the world of the critical ego that cannot see anything beyond itself, you are not. Accept this and have this be OK and stop having how you feel about yourself be determined by how certain others perceive you.

This takes courage and determination.

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